Outside

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Words

Outside, yesterday, I decided that I wanted to die outside.

Perhaps decided that I wanted doesn’t carry much meaning, and perhaps speaking in meaningless terms is just a means of avoiding to deal with the concept of one day coming to an end.

Perhaps

What I’m trying to say is that at the time, that was how I felt. Not in a hurry, not there and then, but when the time comes.

To what an extent I will be the boss of my own death remains to be seen. Presumably a lot less than I would like to think.

But when this is outside I can understand what I mean.

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