within the context of

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within the context of

“Recovery can take place only within the context of relationships” she said; “it cannot occur in isolation.”

Here is where to contemplate whether to dissociate and joke about if she has not been to the woods yet or—borrowing internet speak—let it sink in.

es black

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es black

The laptop screen goes black after a while and it’s black and shiny much like a mirror and he sees himself no sees the image he has gotten used to and knows resembles his appearance and fiddles with the idea that it is a stranger someone he has never met before and wonders who it is and how he got there and where he is going where all this is going and the answers there aren’t any only fantasies that aren’t constructive all the time but childish naive was the better word but it felt like too much of a word a word he didn’t fully comprehend and aren’t words nasty are they because they have meanings and fuzzy because the interpretations always seem to vary in all directions at different times and to all the different people with their backgrounds and previous experiences and oh I said that already and then after not touching the keyboard for a while the laptop screen goes black

faint glimpse of

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faint glimpse of
The following year it got hit from behind, effectively reducing the size of the boot to about a third of what it had been. The driver couldn’t remember much of it, only that he had stopped at a zebra crossing, had the sun in his eyes and a faint glimpse of something approaching in the rear view mirror. Then then headache, and fear, followed by relief for having been alone. It all went down from there. It, well. Home perhaps, it went.

Ghostrun 2021

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Ghostrun 2021

You know when you are moving through the land, your body feels good and step by step the terrain rushes by under your feet and you feel like you could run like this halfway into forever and then you start noticing that you are being chased or followed by something or someone but there isn’t anyone there and you don’t know what or who it is, something or someone that is pulling you from behind, by the neck it seems, making each step increasingly difficult, pushing you down as one foot still moves in front of the other and you start feeling this brick of pain in your chest, tainted by fear but mostly pain, sorrow, and you cannot shake loose from it and you stop, turn around, asking, not immideately seeing any logical answers, start moving again and it or s/he still follows, still keeping a firm grip on your neck, and the trail continues, almost in a straight line it leads away from the cluster of houses and the people occupying them and further towards where there aren’t others, only land and sky that is about to change colours, and—perhaps—what or whoever it is that is following every step you take, weighing you down, by your neck?

You don’t?

Around

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Around

For a moment I think I am in a different store, one I have never been in before, in an unknown city. Then I realize I can read the labels. It’s more disappointing than I would have expected.

She kisses me, I kiss her back. There is something not right about this but we keep at it. Perhaps it’s just me, no it can’t be. This should not be happening.

My feet are always wet when I wake up. After rain that is. The tent is rather filthy, I try to convince myself that it isn’t worth cleaning, that I should toss it.

The number of good people around is overwhelming. There is, somehow, nothing that can be done about it.

Slow pictures of

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From the archives
Slow pictures of

I remember the photo magazines and the slow pictures of running water and it was like nothing I ever saw before, water certainly didn’t look like this, and I wanted to learn how to do this, how to make images of water looking like something it isn’t.

Later to realise that I much prefer water the way it is.